So many things can affect sexual performance — stress, anxiety, alcohol, medication. And when it comes to erectile dysfunction (ED) almost 50% of Canadian men experience it — so if your partner also suffers from ED? Don’t worry, they’re far from alone. It’s a common ailment, and it’s treatable. And what we want to focus on here is how to talk about it.
ED can put a real damper on your relationship and enjoying each other, but like with anything, it can be handled with clear communication. For many it can be a sensitive topic, so we’ve come up with a few suggestions on how to broach the subject. Trust us: it’s better to work through it together than to pretend there isn’t an issue.
First off, we want to make something clear: it’s rare for the source of a partner’s ED to be you.
In the vast majority of situations, the source of the issue has nothing to do with you. It’s understandable to worry that maybe the attraction is waning, that your partner is growing bored, or isn’t into you anymore. This is almost never the case. ED is a medical issue, with causes that can’t be controlled.
- For people 40+, factors can include blood vessel issues.
- For those who’re younger, it’s usually psychological: stress, depression, or performance anxiety.
- If your partner is on medication, in particular beta-blockers, this can also cause ED
How to talk about it
1. Keep communication open, kind, and regular.
It’s very likely that your partner is sensitive about their ED. Many can view it as a personal failing, like it makes them a bad partner. For men it can be tied up in societal pressures, making them feel like ‘less of a man’. Choose when to start the conversation carefully — immediately after sex or during an emotional time isn’t ideal. Instead, choose a time and place removed from any sexy time so you can both talk openly. Emphasize that you’re there for them, and you’ll work through these problems together.
2. Double-check for other health concerns
ED can be caused by a variety of things. Your partner may be struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression. Or it can be a sign of cardiovascular issues, diabetes, or other neurological issues. Many medications can have ED as a side effect as well.
It’s helpful, and just generally a good idea, to figure out what the cause is and eliminate potential unknown health conditions by speaking with a medical professional. Want to do that super easily? Your partner can book an online appointment through Jack Health here.
3. Research solutions together
Barring any health issues that might interfere with treatment, there are several effective options for treating ED. Both require a visit to a medical professional to get a prescription, but the good news is that they’re often covered by insurance.
1. Medications like Viagra or Cialis
“The little blue pill” is so common that basically everyone gets the reference — generic versions of Viagra and Cialis (sildenafil and tadalafil, respectively) have been available since 2017, and offer a simple, cheap, and super effective solution for ED. Just pop a pill before sexy times and away you both go!
2. Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT)
Testosterone levels can dip with age, which also dips libido and energy. TRT gets those levels back to normal, giving libido and energy a big boost. There are a few treatments available — Jack in particular offers a simple gel that gets rubbed daily onto skin.
Remember: only purchase Health Canada-approved solutions.
A word of warning: there are lots of sketchy at-home remedies and non-prescription ‘solutions’ that are ineffective at best, and harmful at worst. Only entrust your partner’s health to trained and certified medical professionals. If you’re also wanting something discrete, our brother company Jack Health has a whole team of Canadian doctors, pharmacists and nurses that give helpful advice fully online, and ship treatments in discreet packaging.
To sum up: ED has many solutions.
The longer you don’t talk about it, the more insurmountable the issue may seem. But ED has many solutions, and once you get talking openly about it, you both can get back to a comfortable, happy relationship (as well as a spicy and satisfying sex life). From therapy to medication, there is help.
Feeling ready to get back at it? Click here to explore our solutions.
