So many things can affect sexual performance — stress, anxiety, alcohol, medication. And when it comes to erectile dysfunction (ED) almost 50% of Canadian men experience it — so if your partner also suffers from ED? Don’t worry, they’re far from alone. It’s a common ailment, and it’s treatable. And what we want to focus on here is how to talk about it.
ED can put a real damper on your relationship and enjoying each other, but like with anything, it can be handled with clear communication. For many it can be a sensitive topic, so we’ve come up with a few suggestions on how to broach the subject. Trust us: it’s better to work through it together than to pretend there isn’t an issue.
First off, we want to make something clear: it’s rare for the source of a partner’s ED to be you.
In the vast majority of situations, the source of the issue has nothing to do with you. It’s understandable to worry that maybe the attraction is waning, that your partner is growing bored, or isn’t into you anymore. This is almost never the case. ED is a medical issue, with causes that can’t be controlled.
- For people 40+, factors can include blood vessel issues.
- For those who’re younger, it’s usually psychological: stress, depression, or performance anxiety.
- If your partner is on medication, in particular beta-blockers, this can also cause ED
How to talk about ED with Your Partner
1. Keep communication open, kind, and regular
It’s very likely that your partner is sensitive about their ED. Many can view it as a personal failing, like it makes them a bad partner. For men it can be tied up in societal pressures, making them feel like ‘less of a man’. Choose when to start the conversation carefully — immediately after sex or during an emotional time isn’t ideal. Instead, choose a time and place removed from any sexy time so you can both talk openly. Emphasize that you’re there for them, and you’ll work through these problems together.
2. Listen actively and validate their feelings
Engage in active listening, which means fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what is being said.
Create a supportive environment where your partner feels safe to express concerns and emotions.
Acknowledge and validate their feelings by saying things like, “I understand why you feel that way,” to show empathy and comprehension.
Avoid interrupting or offering solutions immediately; instead, let the conversation flow naturally.
3. Avoid blame or negative language
Focus on using supportive and positive words, framing the conversation around “us” and “we” rather than “you” or “I.”
Approach the topic with care, emphasizing the shared goal of overcoming the challenge together. Highlight your commitment and reassure your partner of your unconditional support.
This approach promotes a safe and understanding environment, encouraging open communication and strengthening the bond between you.
4. Double-check for other health concerns
ED can be caused by a variety of things. Your partner may be struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression. Or it can be a sign of cardiovascular issues, diabetes, or other neurological issues. Many medications can have ED as a side effect as well.
It’s helpful, and just generally a good idea, to figure out what the cause is and eliminate potential unknown health conditions by speaking with a medical professional. Want to do that super easily? Your partner can book an online appointment through Jack Health here.
5. Research solutions together
Barring any health issues that might interfere with treatment, there are several effective options for treating ED. Both require a visit to a medical professional to get a prescription, but the good news is that they’re often covered by insurance.
- Medications like Viagra or Cialis
“The little blue pill” is so common that basically everyone gets the reference — generic versions of Viagra and Cialis (sildenafil and tadalafil, respectively) have been available since 2017, and offer a simple, cheap, and super effective solution for ED. Just pop a pill before sexy times and away you both go!
- Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT)
Testosterone levels can dip with age, which also dips libido and energy. TRT gets those levels back to normal, giving libido and energy a big boost. There are a few treatments available — Jack in particular offers a simple gel that gets rubbed daily onto skin.
Remember: only purchase Health Canada-approved solutions.
A word of warning: there are lots of sketchy at-home remedies and non-prescription ‘solutions’ that are ineffective at best, and harmful at worst. Only entrust your partner’s health to trained and certified medical professionals. If you’re also wanting something discrete, our brother company Jack Health has a whole team of Canadian doctors, pharmacists and nurses that give helpful advice fully online, and ship treatments in discreet packaging.
Discuss lifestyle factors that can improve ED
Improving erectile dysfunction (ED) can often result from lifestyle changes. Encourage regular physical activity, especially aerobic exercises, to boost blood flow and nitric oxide levels, akin to Viagra’s effects.
A healthy weight and a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins enhance cardiovascular health, vital for sexual function.
Also, reducing alcohol intake and quitting smoking are essential, as they damage blood vessels and reduce penile blood flow.
Set times to talk about progress and feelings
Scheduling regular discussions to share progress and express feelings is vital in managing erectile dysfunction (ED) as a couple.
Choose a consistent time, perhaps weekly or bi-weekly, in a comfortable, private setting where both of you can openly discuss any improvements, setbacks, and emotions related to ED and its treatment.
This practice encourages open communication, ensures ongoing support, and strengthens the relationship by collaboratively dealing with ED issues toward improvement.
Consider counseling or support groups
Counseling and support groups can help individuals and couples facing erectile dysfunction (ED).
Counseling offers strategies to better communication, tackle emotional effects, and improve coping.
Support groups provide a community for sharing and learning from similar experiences. These resources significantly aid in managing ED’s complexities, offering emotional support and practical advice to enhance relationships and well-being.
What if Your Partner Reacts to ED Negatively?
If your partner reacts negatively to discussing erectile dysfunction (ED), approach with empathy.
Their response might stem from surprise or concerns. Allow them time to process and continue expressing love and support, highlighting that ED is common and doesn’t reflect on your feelings for each other.
Encourage seeking information or professional help together. Be patient and reassure them, fostering supportive future discussions.
Key Takeaways
- It’s crucial to approach the topic of ED with openness, kindness, and understanding, recognizing it as a sensitive subject for many. Choosing the right time and setting for the conversation away from intimate moments can foster a supportive dialogue.
- Most instances of ED are related to medical issues, stress, medication side effects, or psychological factors, not a lack of attraction or interest. It’s important to dispel misconceptions and reassure each other of mutual attraction and commitment.
- Investigating the underlying causes of ED with a healthcare provider can unveil potential health concerns. Exploring treatment options like medications or testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) as a couple can enhance support and partnership.
- Encouraging lifestyle modifications such as increased physical activity, a healthy diet, reduced alcohol consumption, and quitting smoking can improve ED. Regular check-ins about progress and feelings can further strengthen the relationship and ensure ongoing support.
Feeling ready to get back at it? Click here to explore our solutions.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it common for men to experience ED?
Yes, almost 50% of Canadian men experience some form of ED. It’s a widespread condition affecting men globally and is treatable in many cases.
Can couples overcome ED together?
Yes, many couples navigate through ED with open communication, understanding, and mutual support, often exploring treatment options and lifestyle changes as a team.
Are there any natural remedies we should consider for treating ED?
While some natural remedies may offer benefits, it’s important to discuss these with a healthcare provider to ensure they’re safe and won’t interact with other treatments.
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